NCSRS
National Computer Sports Recruiting Service

To: Athletic Director, University of Oklahoma

From: Michael Hunt, chief custodian

Subject: Oklahoma Football Recruits, Best Pick (Sort)

The following players have been picked by our computer sort based upon the characteristics sent to us. These have been determined to be the ideal players for your program. Good luck.

Hayfroy P. Jackson 6'6", 190#. Wide receiver.

Hottest prospect from Alabama in the last 10 years. Loves music; will demand a mini-cassette player in his helmet. Holds record for the number of "You knows" during an interview (62 in one minute). Hayfroy can print his complete name.

Cletis Oventious Jenkins: 6'2", 190#. Running back.

Set state scoring record out of Melrose High School, Charlotte N.C. Also led the state in burglaries, but has only six convictions. He's been clocked in the 40 at 4.2 seconds with a 25" TV under his arm.

Roosevelt "Dude" Danzell: 6'1", 185#. Running back

Hails from West Memphis, Arkansas. Has processed hair and immitates Billy Dee Williams fairly well. Before he signs a letter of intent, he wants Oklahoma's uniform colors changed to chartreuse and pink. On his application, he listed his church preference as "red brick."

Woodrow Lee Washington: 6'8", 225#. Tackle.

Third generation welfare family. At 19, he is the oldest of 14 children. Mother indicated Woodrow and child number nine may have the same father. He has a manslaughter trial pending but feels confident of being found innocent because, "The bum said something bad 'bout my momma." On his entrance form, he listed his IQ as "20- 20."

Willie "Night Train" Smith: 6'4", 175#. Quarterback.

Born on an Amtrak near Chicago. His birth certificate indicates he's 26 years old. He thinks the "N" on the Nebraska helmet stands for "Nowledge," but still meets Oklahoma's academic requirements. He insists on wearing number 12 on his jersy since it matches his score on his college entrance exam.

Tyrone "Python" Peeples: 6'10", 180#. Wide receiver.

Has pending paternity suit but hopes none of the other five will file charges. Tyrone has already signed six letters of intent, but is also willing to sign with Oklahoma. Likes White women and Cadillacs. Thinks Taco Bell is the Mexican phone company.

Abdul Abba Ali: 6'8", 245#. Guard.

Played high school ball under the name of Leroy R. Jones. Abdul thinks Sherlock Holmes is a housing project in Jackson, Mississippi. Does not know the meaning of the word "Fear" (Does not know the meaning of a lot of other words either...).

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